May the Force Be Against You….

Something, or someone, out there in the Cosmos is against me getting anything done today. I suspect, ironically enough, that it is my husband.

He has been gone for the last nine days, hence the relative peace of the last week. But he’s back with a blast. Parental Asvisory: B!tchy Rant Immenent

I rarely ask him to do anything around the house. He “works” 12 hour days, and I think he should rest while he’s at home. And because I don’t want him screwing up my system. It’s a very delicate balance I’m keeping between being almost on top of things and being so far under things that the neighbors call DHEC. I put the word “works” in quotation marks because he isn’t really working those full 12 hours. Anyone who has been in a Japanese work place can attest to the fact that lots of time is spent waiting for the boss to leave and “socializing.” I put that in quotation marks because his office is full of men, so I imagine their idea of “socializing” includes finding out whose wife has the biggest boobies or who can eat the most pizza or something like that. (That’s how my brother “socialized” with his friends, anyway.)

HRH just got back from California and is jet-lagged. I knew he would get up before dawn, so I asked him if he would please run the washing machine. I had a lot I wanted to get done in the morning, and having the laundry ready to go out at 6 instead of 7 would have made things easier for me. Please take note that I did not ask him to hang it out, just throw the clothes in the washer and push the button.

This morning when he woke us all up with the computer being too loud, again, he said that he couldn’t do the laundry because blah blah blah insert crappy excuse here. Whatevs, man, silly me for asking him.

So he won’t help; fine. But then he proceeds to hinder. He doesn’t like that I’ve put the children’s rice on their plates instead of a separate bowl. Obviously, I did this because it was less for me to wash after. Selfish of me, apparently, . He gets out toys he brought back for the kids, then says he doesn’t have time to read the instructions. Ask your mother! One of these is a “fingerprint collecting lab” full of chemicals and whatnot that is labeled for children 10+. HRH just hands it to our 4 and 6 year old, who soon have the box open. I get there just before they open the bottle of chemicals, thank god, and just in time to be the “mean parent” who puts the toy of reach. Hubby then wants us to gather by the front door to see him off. Grr. He won’t leave until we are gathered, at which point he grabs my boob in front of the children. Classy, right? For gods’ sake,I have to:

Make breakfast
Clean up breakfast
Do the laundry
Get Brother ready for school
Make Sister’s lunch
Get her ready for school
Get myself presentable
Take out the garbage
Maybe eat breakfast myself
And a cup of coffee would be nice

By 9 am.

At which point I have to somehow magically go to the bank, submit Sister’s kindy application and application fee (hence bank trip,) take Sister to school, and go to an event at Brother’s school.
All at 9:30.
Since I tend to have trouble getting to even one place at a designated time, being at three is going to be a challenge.

It’s already 7:30, everyone is still in their pjs, I don’t have time for these morning antics!

Having the laundry done and less washing up would have been a big help. Having a husband who listened to me when I told him this yesterday would have also been nice.

Now I have to go the grocery store and clean the house before I pick up Me Too at 1:30. I might have time for my own lunch, but I guess not since I’ve wasted ten minutes writing this. Hope y’all thought it was worth it.

Promise less b!tchy better written post later in the day. Thanks for listening.
♪(´ε` )

__Edit__

I managed to go to the bank, preschool, drop-off, school event, and grocery store before I noticed I had, I kid you not, TEN lady bug stickers on the seat of my pants.

Classic.

That’s what I get for getting too big for my britches, I guess. No use complaining about the speck in your husband’s eye until you get the stickers off your butt!

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tamariez
    Oct 24, 2011 @ 21:30:38

    It was worth it for me to read.. =) Sorry your morning was so frustrating, but thank you for making it entertaining… Especially the stickers on your butt part.. Now that IS classic.. lol

    Reply

  2. hamakkomommy
    Oct 25, 2011 @ 17:42:47

    Found a whole sheet of stickers in the washing machine this morning. Am considering plastering them on everyone’s bum and parading around town. It could be our Halloween costume: lady-butts!

    Reply

  3. Chrysanthemummum
    Oct 30, 2011 @ 08:22:10

    Japanese men are the worst. I hear ya on the not helping around the house. I have to remind my hub that I also work full time and still do everything for the kids and all the housework. The office politics too – not really working but but trying to look busy just because the boss is there. I know my hub isn’t working those long hours. He “works” late so he can avoid all the domestic responsibilities and then he can use the excuse “but you don’t work as long a hours as me!” Anyway, my rant over..
    Love your blog!

    Reply

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