It’s Christmas, idiot

Usually Christmas falls on a weekday, which means that most years the kids wake up early, tear into their presents like cavemen into a wooly mammoth, then bid HRH good-bye as he heads off to work.

This year, as I suppose you know by now, Christmas is on a Sunday. I had initially planned on taking my brood to America for the holidays this year, but it isn’t very often they get to spend the day with Dad. So here we remain.

We went to the grocery store to buy supplies for tomorrow. I guess meat and bread alone won’t due, eh? (Though that is what we had at the German Christmas expo in Aka Renga yesterday. Sausage and giant pretzels. Me Too was in heaven. Brother was ticked that there were no French fries.)

I should have known better than to take the whole family, but I guess I was drunk on holiday cheer. Watch out for the stuff. HRH disappeared into the man department of the store where they have screws and hammers and the salespeople just grunt at you. I needed to buy wrapping paper, which was ingeniously located right beside the toy section. Good for Jusco. I’m always surprised by the poor placement of items, from a marketing standpoint. I mean, put the ladies’ magazines right there by the kids’ already! I can never get to them because they are two aisles over.

My Christmas menu isn’t very ambitious. Turkey breast, ham, steamed veggies with dip, mashed potatoes, rolls, and a Christmas tree shaped pancake contraption that may not turn out to be a very good idea. My idea was to keep Christmas as low stress as possible.

But that is not exactly working out as planned.

HRH was appalled that I wanted to buy instant potatoes. They aren’t so hard to make, he says. Well, of course they aren’t when your wife is doing it for you. And they wouldn’t be such a big deal if I didn’t have 8,000,000 other things going on, too. And if I wasn’t going to be running back and forth between our house and the in-laws since the ham won’t fit in my easy-bake oven. So I nixed the potatoes.

Same with cookies for Santa. “Don’t buy a mix!” but we already had loads of groceries that had to be carried home without adding flour, shortening, eggs, and sugar to the list. Store bought cookies were purchased and then decorated by the kids before bed.

Whipped cream? No canned stuff.


I got fed up at this point. I relented on the whipped cream with the understanding that he was in charge of it, and verifying that he understood that meant preparing it, using it, and washing up the utensils afterward. He hadn’t intended to do the washing up so he seemed taking aback and responded, “Geez, what’s the big deal?” And it wouldn’t be a big deal if I didn’t have to do everything from scratch because he has some mistaken notion that to do otherwise is lazy.

Besides, the guests tomorrow already know I am lazy.

So we go home with ten tons of shopping to rest a bit before going to the in-laws Kentucky Fried Christmas in the evening. And what does one do when you have guests coming over in the morning, presents to wrap, and children to care for?

If you are a Japanese man apparently you tear up the (just cleaned) kitchen, hijack all the Tupperware and make miso.

Dude, nobody makes their own miso. That’s like making your own ketchup. Except that miso has to be left out on the counter to ferment for like, months.

Then you don’t clean up after yourself.

I’m wondering if I should have asked Santa for a new model….This Hubby1976 brand is just not living up to the hype….

In the evening, we went to the in-laws and had, shock!, roast chicken instead of the usual fried stuff that Japanese people associate with Christmas for some reason. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, the kids love it. We did have fried pork, so I guess MIL couldn’t get her thoughts completely out of the box. Good for her for trying, though.

What aggravates me so much about the in-laws (and I’ll include HRH in this) is that they nag and scold and shame the children about their eating habits. It’s Christmas, for goodness sake. They can go without greens for one day. And no, I don’t really care if my son has his elbows sort of on the table. He’s eating, right? It just seems cruel to criticize them when they don’t eat, and then go at them for their manners when they do. I also think telling children they are no better than monkeys when they use their fingers to eat is a bit extreme, especially at Christmas.

But anyway, the obligatory Christmas sponge cake with white cream dressing and strawberries has been consumed, so now we can get on with doing things my way.

They had just assumed we would be spending tomorrow with them, since they assume we spend every non-school day with them. But honestly? I need a Christmas celebration that is closer to what I had growing up. Except that there will be champagne. I guess I don’t think out of the box, either. I just dress it up a bit.

In other news, Me First has gotten into the habit of calling people “idiots.” He got this from the book The Foxwoods Regatta, which except for the idiot business and a few other choice British insults, is a lovely book that the children like very much. Too bad he couldn’t have picked up on something else instead, like calling bread “buns” or saying things are “lovely.”

But anyway, have a lovely Merry homemade Christmas, everyone!


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gaijinwife
    Dec 26, 2011 @ 17:25:07

    Hope it was a lovely day anyway and that hub helped in the kitchen – or at the very least cleaned up after the bloody miso making extravaganzer – Granny K ‘used’ to make miso but it is this thick chunky red miso which I don’t like and still have to add dashi too. Does hub know how to make it all on his own? Somewhat impressed if it didn’t mean messing up the kitchen and using all the containers the night before bloody Christmas!!

    My hub spent two hours on Christmas morning out collecting wood!!


    • hamakkomommy
      Dec 26, 2011 @ 20:43:16

      Of course he doesn’t really know how to make it, it’s just another one of his projects. Not unsimilar to how my microwave is now currently filled with glasses in which “brine shrimp” are being farmed for use under the new microscope by Y. Males, eh?

      I hate that red miso, too.


  2. illahee
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 14:47:52

    i’m all for instant potatoes!!

    sounds a teeny bit similar to my banana cake….i make a banana cake with spoiled milk (or, milk treated with vinegar) and rotten bananas (sounds great, right?!) and is a bit complicated with alternatively adding the flour mix, bananas and spoiled milk. anyway, my husband brought some extra cake (this was a few years ago when i still tried to keep the kids from eating too many sweets) to work and came back saying his coworkers loved it, but one woman wanted to have nuts in it next time. excuse me?? so, the next time the bananas were turning brown, he started nagging me about it. FINE. so i made the effing cake right in front of him and then he cottoned on that maybe it’s a little bit more complicated than blending bananas and measuring out flour. ugh.

    there’s a reason why cake mixes/cream of mushroom soup/instant potatoes were invented!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: