Holy Cr@p

Holy crap, I have just had a major memory lapse and probably landed myself in the PTA shit-house perma-freaking-nently.

I was supposed to do the crossing guard thing today. Good mothers show up at five till eight, their children in tow, to hold a yellow flag at a cross walk where there are already-wait for it- six old men in neon vests and yellow flags. Meanwhile the little ones play near the intersection while Mommy does safety patrol.


Japan, ne?

Today was supposed to be my turn. Except that I completely forgot. Until just now, 12:34pm. At least I know I haven’t caused kiddies to be in danger by shirking my duties, what with the other six old men and all. Actually I have saved myself from putting my own children in a ridiculous predicament: stand in the middle of the intersection with Mommy, or wait nearby completely unattended.

Maybe it was a Freudian thing, this convenient forgetfulness, because the crossing guard thing is Stupid (note the capital S, I ain’t kiddin’.)

But now I will be labeled the useless foreign mommy who didn’t show up on the day she was supposed to. Actually neither of the days I was supposed to, since last time Me Too was sick and I refused to bring a sick three-year-old with a 38C (102F) fever to stand in the hot sun (and it is hot at 8am here in August) for thirty minutes. Selfish b!tch that I am.

Just as well, I suppose, that this selfish b!tch business be out in the open as there are meetings coming up to decide 郊外員 and 子供会係, safety council and the neighborhood children’s group, respectively. (Both of which I got an automatic “bye” for this year as the mother of a first grader.) I don’t want to do either, indeed I feel I am incapable of doing either. The latter involves lots of print-out production and watching other people’s elementary-aged children for FREE, while the former involves meeting with the local police and construction crews to determine the safest routes to school and dealing with any incidents that come up. As much fun as that sounds, I don’t think my Japanese is quite up to par. Language ability? Probably sufficient. Ability to communicate effectively with a Japanese old bloke policeman who is trying to get out of doing his job? (I listened to a friend moan about this two years ago.) Not so much.

I’m sure the PTA now has me in the crosshairs. Lock and load, ladies. Film at 11


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