Rock, Paper, Scissors, Loser!

Today was Me Too’s first “real” day of preschool. I use quotation marks because she was only there by herself for an hour, and then I had to come for a PTA meeting.

This morning was predictably hectic. Preschool starts thirty minutes earlier than her pre-preschool class last year. I have exactly one hour to get Child A out the door before I have to walk Child B to school.

This should be plenty of time, especially considering Child B doesn’t need a lunch box this week. But the trouble starts as soon as my alarm goes off in the morning.

“I’m still sleeepyyyy!” cries Me Too.
“Then go back to sleep. I have to get up and make breakfast.”
“Nooooo!!! I can’t sleep by myself.”
“Then go sleep with your brother. Or your Dad.” I know that neither of these are acceptable substitutes since they lack my feminine blubber softness. Plus they have godawful morning breath, the both of them.

Of course I don’t really want to get out of bed, and having a cuddly little one insist on cuddling always seems to win out over the need to get up by myself in the cold, start laundry in the cold, make breakfast in the cold, empty out the nasty kitchen sink garbage in the cold. Did I mention it’s still cold in the morning? And being the only one up-and-at-’em just seems to make the cold feel, um, colder.

But anyway, it is going to have to stop. I need to be up by six in order to get Me First and his chronic disorganization out of the house, make Me Too’s lunch, and put my face on in order to take her to kindy. Because there are paparazzos and what not on the way, which is paved in red carpet. Well it might as well be. All of the ladies’ mags have articles about 送り迎え(pick-up, drop-off) fashion. Apparently women are supposed to be either skirt 派 or pants 派. There’s no category for sweatpants and T-shirts. The only people I see dressed like that are teenagers with stringy, dirty, dyed yellow hair who finish off the look with Hello Kitty bedroom slippers. But their faces are heavily made-up and they always have on false lashes, so they’re obviously going for some kind of look that I am just too old to comprehend.

But anyway

We managed to get to the preschool in time. I went to the grocery store sans kidlets for the first time in ages, and made it back to school in time for The Meeting. Like I said, Me Too’s teacher is fresh out of college. And not so good at running meetings. At one point, the thirty or so moms were talking amongst themselves so loudly the teacher couldn’t be heard. I thought for a moment she might cry. I was tempted to stand up and tell the “adults” to hush it, but thought better of it. I remember moments like this when I was teaching all those aeons ago. I would cross my arms, and stand there quietly giving everyone The Look until they settled down. Scary, right?

Me Too’s teacher hasn’t perfected The Look yet, but she managed to get control back over the room on her own without “scary gaijin mommy” helping her out. There are lots of moms in this class that I know from Brother’s time at preschool or from last year, so I actually only got one finger pointed at me, and only a few people gasped in surprise when I gave my self introduction in the lingua franca. At some point I really gotta try doing that in Klingon, since that is what people seem to expect.

Brother’s upcoming meeting will be worse in this respect, I think. There aren’t many kids in his class that we know. Better brush up on my Klingon, then.

Eventually the teacher gets to the part where she asks for PTA volunteers. I don’t really want to do anything, but I know that the PTA head honcho will be chosen from the third-years next year, and I definitely don’t want to be head-honchoing anything. Unless it’s like a nacho-eating committee. There are two types of jobs: class leader and library leader. The class leaders have to handle money and stuff. The library leaders help with the lending library and do story times for the class. I volunteered for the latter, as did the lady next door. That would have been sweet, right? She’s not a lazy fack like me, but she isn’t artistic at all and would keep things simple. But then some other woman we don’t know also volunteered, and it came down to a round of rock, paper, scissors to see who the library leaders would be.

Japanese people use rock, paper, scissors to decide everything. Even in huge groups they use this. I think parliament uses this. And I suck at it. I read an article once about how to beat people at it, but it doesn’t work against non-westerners since they think differently, even subconsciously.

So I am not the library leader or the class leader. I had indicated to the primary school that I would do their PTA next year, but I don’t want to do both at the same time, so maybe I’ll volunteer on Friday.

Me First would probably benefit from having me at school more. But unlike the preschool PTA, the elementary school doesn’t work in teams, so there is a high(er) probability that I could screw something up. And their jobs are things like collecting money and washing curtains, not fun stuff like making storyboards for the kids to enjoy.

Maybe I could use it to weasel my way into a job, though.

In the meantime, I need to brush up on my rock-paper-scissors skills.
( T_T)o v(^-^ )


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. hamakkomommy
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 17:57:21

    Ended up not doing Brother’s PTA, either. Sister has a knack of freaking out at just the right time. I don’t even have to pinch her. As soon as the teacher asked for volunteers she became inconsolable. Go fig.


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