Six Rules for Cleaning Out Your Kid’s Toys

I thought I would tackle the kids room today, but then I thought better of it and decided to write about it instead. Yep, that’s me, the master procrastinator. I could star in the movie.

I’ll be baaack. Later.

I want to clean out the toys, and I’ve been thinking about how to go about this. There’s a lot of messy build up I just want to throw away. Some things are obviously destined for the curb. But here are my rules, in case you were wondering.

1) If it has the Golden Arches on the back, throw it away. Ditto for any other toy that came with a kids meal. It’s served it’s purpose already, either to keep the kids quiet in the restaurant or to force the parent to take them there in the first place, depending on how you look at it. Let it go.

2)If it is a toy some dumbass bought for my kid even though I felt it was inappropriate, (I’m looking at YOU, brother in law) then off it goes.

3)Which leads me to realize that I have forgotten a very important rule that should have been number one. Do not start The Clean Out until you are alone. Very alone. If your kids are asleep or occupied with Sponge Bob or Barbie or something (pick your poison) that counts. I know people who claim to clean things out with their kids. “My children want to donate this to the poor, starving, deformed children in some far off kingdom!” they claim. Maybe their children really are angelic and godly. But probably the parents are just liars. At any rate, I do not want any other grown-ups around when I undertake this herculean task that will require copious amounts of chu-hai to recover from.

4) Do you have friends and/or relatives who always expect to see the toys and books and junk they send to your kids? I do, too. I’ve decided to toss that stuff anyway. Those kind of “gifts” are all about the giver and not the children at all. Will it create awkward moments? Sure, if I do something stupid like actually admit to having tossed out said crappy item. Which I won’t do. What happens in The Great Clean Out stays in The Great Clean Out.

5) Any item that the kids fight over incessantly, hit each other with, turn into a projectile, or otherwise use solely for the purpose of wreaking havoc will go into the garbage. Only good toys that do not cause mommy stress will be allowed to stay.

6) Any toys that are noisy and/or annoying will be sent to relatives with younger kids. Spread the love.

Okay, that’s all for now. Class dismissed.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. zezil
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 15:34:49

    Tsk tsk. Good luck!

    Reply

  2. Rebecca
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 20:55:26

    Wait a minute! I’m your only relative with younger kids!! You can find someone else to donate annoying toys too.

    Reply

  3. Perogyo
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 23:25:29

    I like it. Especially getting in trouble with that nice Rebecca.

    I have baskets for the kids toys. When they start to overflow, out things go. I use the oh so scientific method of chucking whatever was left on the floor and I stepped on in the middle of the night too.

    Reply

  4. Beth
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 10:58:46

    Good rule on the Golden Arches toys. I try to control toy input as much as possible. Also, I told my daughter that Santa could not bring any toys for her until she got rid of some. This migrated some stuff to her little brother and some stuff to give away. Not enough stuff, but a start. Need to do another cleanup because her floor is never clear of junk. The bigger she gets, the more and smaller the pieces.

    Reply

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