Ready for Failure

Last week I was feeling lost in a sea of me-time and housework. I sorted through the kids clothes, washed windows, made cupcakes, mended clothing, cleaned out the back room, did all of those things I’ve been meaning to get to but haven’t been able to because the kids were underfoot.

And guess what? I felt like shit. I had no one to talk to but the children, whose conversation tends to flow from “He got more than me!” HRH has been grumpy and best avoided lately. (He forgot his house key yesterday and I stayed up past midnight waiting for him to come home so I could let him in, and he literally snarled at me. Said I must have let the kids touch his keys. Oookay, so keys getting misplaced has nothing to do with coming home plastered, must remember that.)

Come Monday morning, all of that hard work just needs to be done again.

Um, screw that.

So I don’t think I’m cut out to be a perfect homemaker. I need another outlet, hopefully something that involves monetary remuneration.

But I don’t think that’s likely, considering how preschool works. 9-2 except on Wednesdays, oh plus any other random day the school decides to let kids out early. And don’t forget the myriad events they expect mothers to attend, more often than not with little notice.

Anyone know any non-soul crushing work that can be done from home a couple hours a day? I’d like to try my hand at some translation, considering I often end up doing that for HRH’s work. Not sure that makes qualified, though.

And I know at some point I have to write this book that is itching to get out, before it eats me alive. The commitment is scary, almost as much as the rejection, criticism, and probable eventual imminent failure.

I’m certainly positive about it, aren’t I? Nothing like the power of a positive attitude.


I’ve written several children’s books (see: commitment, criticism, eventual failure.) Even though they weren’t published, the kids enjoyed them so it wasn’t a total and utter waste of time. Unless you’re a butthead like Shakespeare.

But grown up books are different, aren’t they?

Can anyone spare a cup of encouragement?


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gaijinwife
    May 25, 2012 @ 11:41:35

    Big cup coming your way. I’d be first inline to buy that book WHEN you’re ready to go down that road of commitment. I bet it would be fabulous. You are such a talented writer, which also helps when translating – which is PERFECT for doing from home and pays quite well and, I find at least, is quite satisfying. At home its very easy to procrastinate though – like I’m doing now :)
    Tell us when the keys turn up – and shame on hub for snarling and blaming the kids. Bad form. They’re probably in a gumboot in the genkan after he dropped them pissed.


  2. kym
    May 25, 2012 @ 14:37:33

    Second in line for book. (^ー^)ノ


  3. Xana
    May 26, 2012 @ 17:16:23

    Third! Go for it!


  4. Lost in Tokyo
    Sep 06, 2012 @ 20:50:07

    I also have a translation job that it sitting on the table but I am not doing…because I found your blog and won’t be able to sleep until I have gotten through a good portion of it. If you can get the right kind of translation gig, you can balance your school responsibilities and still get the satisfaction from working and being paid $$$. Unfortunately, mine wasn’t paying enough, so I am now running a very delicate balancing act between the second grader, three year old, translation at home, and job 3-4 days a week. I feel your frustration. This is just one more point that needs to be addressed in this society. The birth rate will never increase here as long as mothers are held hostage to the elementary schools, juku, naraigoto, and all of the other obligations we have. What we need is a better balance!


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