Domesticity, Butt Tests, and The Sand Incident

Domestic diva? Who, moi? Don’t be silly, of course not, but Mondays of late have been all about getting the house work under control and trying to start the week off on the right foot. Or at least not on my knees.

Today I washed the sheets, made a batch or bread dough in the bread maker then turned that into pigs-in-blankets, rolls, and rolls with chocolate inside. Yep, it got a little crazy. Anyway, I made the dough with 2/3 whole wheat flour, 1/3 white flour and let it rise twice as long as the recipe called for. The rolls turned out fluffy in spite of the whole wheat. I also used a whole egg instead of half, which made them moist as well. If they weren’t brown you’d never know they were good for you! Until you got to the chocolate, that is.

I also managed to not forget the kids needed the butt test this morning. Score one for me. Every year, the children of this archipelago have to be tested for parasites before they can use the pool. (Every school and kindy that I know of has a pool. How cool is that?) Basically the butt test involves dabbing their, um, bottom holes with a sticky piece of plastic as soon as they wake up in the morning. And then doing it again the next day. Then making sure you have the right plastic on the right bum, get it in the right envelope, and to the right school. It’s kind of like an IQ test. Since I managed not to forget it I guess that puts me right up there with the other vertebrates for once.


So while I was doing all this homemaking my children were out there in the big, bad world.

I went to pick Me Too up. The kids sit on the stoop while the teacher tells us what they did that day. I didn’t really listen much, though, because a little boy was busy stealing Me Too’s hat. Then throwing it at her.


He did this a couple of times. I was a little too far away to step in, but was weedling my way towards them when he stands up and throws two big handfuls of sand right into her face.

She wasn’t doing anything. After he threw it at her she STILL didn’t do anything. It was “sit down time” and she didn’t want to break the rules.

Another mother standing there totally freaked out. She told the boy off, and went to get the teacher. At which point the boy throws sand at the little girl beside Me Too, getting it all in her mouth.

Thrower boy’s mom comes over, finally. She has twins. They are in two different classes, and she always picks up the other twin first. So I guess you could say I wasn’t very surprised to see him act out.

Everyone was fussing over the girl who had sand in her mouth, and Me Too and I were trying to quietly sneak away. She hates being the center of attention, and I was afraid that making a big deal of this would just make her even less likely than she already is to involve a grown-up when she needs help.

But Freak Out Mom caught up with us, brought over Twin Boys Mom and the teacher, and tried to make right with the world. I talked to her for a few minutes afterward. Apparently that boy’s behavior had been bothering her for a while and she just couldn’t bear the thought of him getting away with treating a quiet little girl like that.

I have a boy at home, too, and haven’t managed to completely block out what life was like with the four-year-old human equivalent of a monster truck. And I’m not sure that involving parents in these types of situations helps the situation much. The woman obviously has her hands full, and now she probably thinks I’m a bizatch.

I did have a word with the teacher, though. Me Too won’t complain and she is afraid to tell on the other kids. I asked the teacher to please keep an eye out and help her find her voice when she needs to.

I doubt the teacher will be able to do that, though. There are just too many kids in the class. Me Too will have to toughen up. Brother told her he would go punch the other little boy, and between the two of them that seems to be the plan.



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