Up until recently, my children’s lies were pretty amateur.
“I didn’t eat it!” says a face covered in chocolate.
“I don’t need to poo!” Smell says otherwise, bub.
“I didn’t hear you!” right after I’ve had them repeat my instructions.
In general the children are dumbfounded by my psychic abilities in this regard.
But Me First blindsided me with a whopper the other day. It wasn’t just the lie; it was that he played on my sympathies and manipulated a situation to suit his own desires.
I guess you could say it was the grown-upness of the lie that upset me.
On Tuesday evenings, Me First is supposed to go to karate. Except he never wants to go.
This battle has been ongoing ever since he started karate a couple of years ago. Can’t say I blame him for not wanting to go, it doesn’t really look like much fun.
The Tuesday afternoon showdown begins as soon as he walks in the door.
“I don’t wanna go to karate,” he says, followed quickly by, “Are we gonna go out to eat?” Every once in a while we do. But somehow taking them out for dinner every time they go out for a bit of exercise seems to defeat the point.
Last week was no different.
“No, we aren’t going out to eat.”
“No, I won’t buy you a toy or otherwise bribe you to do something you ought to do anyway.”
It looked a bit like it might rain. The sky was a heavy, ominous gray. Me Too was already tired, so I guess you could say my determination was wavering. I wasn’t properly suited for battle.
Me First threw himself on the couch, declined to have a snack (!), and told me he was exhausted from having two class periods of PE that day. They do that sometimes, but it wasn’t on Tuesday’s schedule.
I told him that and he said one of the teachers was absent so the schedule had been changed. (This also happens pretty often.)
I didn’t have my guard up, and had no reason not to believe him, so I let him stay home.
That evening, though, when we got in the bath and I went to wash his hair, he resisted.
“I didn’t play outside today, and I didn’t have PE so my hair isn’t dirty,” he said.
So I was a chump. Fanfreakingtastic.
I’ve come to the conclusion that if continuing karate is gonna make him a liar, then it isn’t worth it.
So there goes that.
He got loads of exercise when he was in preschool, but now at elementary he’s sitting all day long. They only have PE once or twice a week. Most days, by the time he’s finished his homework he’s too tired to go out and play, but I guess I’ll have to find a way to encourage him.
He’s always been so active that I’ ve never had to worry about him getting enough exercise.
Or telling convincing lies, for that matter.