Humble Cake

I had this idea- I know, I know, that never seems to turn out well- that I’d have a cup of coffee and a piece of blueberry coffee cake before I pick Me Too up from school, run to the elementary for Me First, and stand back while all the evils of the underworld proceed to rain upon my abode.

Anyway, main point here is coffee cake.

And not just any coffee cake: one with streusel.

This is just one of those things I can’t seem to find in Japan. But I’m a pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps (if I can find them,) grin-and-bear-it, take-the-bull-by-the-horns kinda gal, thinks me, I’ll just make some.

And so I do. I’ve never attempted streusel before, and for good reason. It’s a bit of a pain in ye olde arse. But I did it, so there. I got my blueberrific cake with crumbly fatty topping into my micro sized oven, and sat back to wait.

But I’m getting ahead of myself-I’m forgetting to lay blame where blame is do. F U world wide web, for tempting me with this idea to start with! I popped over to my favorite recipe site,this one, and found an appropriate recipe. I like how it will do the conversion to metric and arithmetic for you when you want to change the number of servings.

Because I suck at math. Just like Barbie. (Comparisons end there.)

I notice the recipe I have to make right now to get my coffee cake fix requires a 9×9 pan. Of course I don’t have one, or any square pan, for that matter. Nor do I possess a ruler with inches on it so I can compare the infidel pan that I do have, which is shaped like a break loaf, but be ye not deceived! It is not the same size as an American loaf of bread and thus utterly useless as far as I’m concerned.

So I do what all good cooks do. I eyeball it, and guess how many servings I can prepare in my pretender of a bread tin.

I close my eyes, bite my lip, say a little prayer, and submit my humble coffee cake to the ravages of the fire god. So I, um, put it in the oven.

Then I wait.

And now I can see a horrifyingly large portion that beautiful, necessary, wonderful streusel tumbling over the side because I overfilled my container.


Somehow I know that if I had paid better attention in calculus then all of this could be avoided.

Somehow, I just know.


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