You just can’t do that! A stupid fish is NOT a hamster


Me Too has been talking for months about wanting a hamster. Her birthday is coming up, and she asked Daddy several weeks ago if she could have one. To my surprise and mild horror, he said okay.

Since then, Me Too has chosen what color cage she wants to buy (pink,) what she wants to name it (Flower,) and even what she will feed it (cupcakes), professional advice and biological science be damned.

HRH should have been aware of this. It’s the first thing Sister talks about every morning, after all. But apparently he doesn’t listen. He claims to not remember telling her she could have the hamster to start with. “Even if I did say it, I thought she would forget!” he said.

Babe, you just can’t do that. This isn’t like a gum ball or something minor, and Me Too doesn’t forget about gum balls and minor things, anyway. He should know that! Yes, Brother is much more easily distracted, but Sister is not. Once she has her heart set on something (which is very rare,) she will NOT forget. And from her point of view, if she ends up not being able to get the hamster then her parents will have lied to her.

Thanks so much for putting me in that position.

HRH thinks I’m being overly dramatic about this, that Me Too will forget about the hamster. So he brings home a freaking fish. Worse than that, it’s not even a fancy fish. It isn’t even pink.

And then there are the things that HRH didn’t bring home: an aquarium, net, fish food, basically everything you need to care for a fish. He casually mentions I should go pick up this stuff tomorrow. Apparently I need to work more on my dart-shooting-from-eyes skills because he didn’t immediately fall over when he said that. This is HIS doing. I have my hands full of humans, and will have nothing to do with this fiasco. Besides, our local supermarket doesn’t have pet stuff. For me to do that would mean putting both kids into after-care (and paying for it,) going by train to a pet shop, and then lugging home an aquarium.

Hello, HRH, welcome to Earth! We don’t do that here.

As I write, the dojo loach in question is in a bucket on the balcony. Apparently we will now spend the weekend throwing crap away to make room for an aquarium to hold this savage beast.

And Me Too? Her first reaction was, “Oh, the fish and my hamster can be friends!”

Of course they can, dear.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Xana
    Jun 29, 2012 @ 14:09:17

    Hrh is totally stupid, and doesn’t understand females at all. Sounds like my dh. I can’t believe I’m suggesting this after spending an hour last night explaining to my own dds why they would never get one, but would a tamagotchi be an option? Maybe you could come up with a clause in your rental agreement that daddy was too stupid to notice (yk, phrase it better) that doesn’t allow pets. So sad, but fish is going to have to go back to the pet store. Heartbreaking that you can’t get the hamster you wanted so much too, but Rules is Rules. Because you can’t get a real pet, she get get a cool and exciting tamagotchi that all the little girls (well, mine at least, but we have a dog, three turtles, and zillions on medaka) so desperately want. Okay, maybe a stupid idea, especially if you were really looking forward to cleaning that pink hamster cage!


    • hamakkomommy
      Jun 29, 2012 @ 14:47:29

      I’m actually okay with the hamster. I mean, sure, they pee and poop all over their house and stay up at night, so in reality they probably aren’t all that different from Me Too. I *think* she might be responsible with it. I was going to volunteer to take a turn caring for the preschool’s rabbit during summer vacay so she could get an idea of what caring for an animal is like, and then talk it over with her real serious-like. But now we have this stupid dojo loach to take care of!

      Brother has been wanting a DS, but I won’t let him have one, so I might not be able to justify getting a tomogatchi for Sister. But I’ll look into it- good idea! A pet they can’t kill. Now if only we could find a plant I can’t kill….


  2. Xana
    Jun 29, 2012 @ 17:04:06

    If you think she’s up for the responsibility and you don’t mind another small needy creature in your home, a hamster sounds great! Can you sell the fish on yahoo auctions? Get HRH to make it the new office pet? Set it “free” in the river? Do hamsters eat sashimi as well as cupcakes?


  3. emm
    Jun 29, 2012 @ 23:42:52

    In fact, they do – hamsters are omnivores and quite like having some animal protein in their diet (hence the dried shrimp thiniges in hamster food and my mums shocked expression when her hamster took care of the moth that flew into its cage…) (;

    On the other hand, hamster are strictly nocturnal and when woken during the day tend to be quite grumpy wriggly little balls of fur that don’t appreciate being handled while still sleepy… (the fun I had while working in a pet shop!)


  4. gaijinwife
    Jun 30, 2012 @ 19:42:13

    Don’t ask task about Hamsters cause she’ll tell you I killed hers – which is just silly. I was great babysitter except that when checked next morning it had died. Noisy night wheel playing too. Bloody HRH – that is so clueless. Poor Me Too. Stick to your guns on not getting anything for it. It’s his job this one. Love the Hamster’s name. Definitely not suitable for the fish though. Perhaps you could call it ‘clueless’ and see if HRH cops on.


  5. illahee
    Jul 01, 2012 @ 16:22:55

    hamsters are not nocturnal, they are crepuscular. that means the stay up late and get up early to be noisy, but generally sleep during the middle of the night. annoying creatures.

    if you do get a hamster, i recommend getting a female. avoid a male dwarf hamster at all costs, as they smell. bad. like, two day old nachos bad. ask me how i know! lol


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