I spoke too soon

Do you remember when I said there was nothing like having your father-in-law burst into your house uninvited at 7am?

It seems I spoke too soon.

Far too soon.

This morning, he came in at 7am, uninvited, as is his habit of late. I was breathless and bra-less, trying to get the kids and husband out of their various states of undress and into their appropriate roles in society, be it salaryman-at-large or student of primary education. Oh, and then there’s that other place where the little ones go…haven’t quite figured that one out yet, but I digress.

Verily, verily I say unto you it is a fool who enters the house of his son at such an hour. HRH was none too happy about having his morning routine interrupted. (Interrupting everyone else’s routine, apparently, is not much of a problem.)

I thought we’d gotten rid of the invader at 7:30. His stories come on then and he wanted to be home in time to see whodunnit or who done who or something like that.

In spite of the interruption, HRH left for work on time, Brother went to school, meanwhile I fielded several phone calls from MIL. Jiji wants to come over to work on the closet some more, she says. He can’t, says I, because I will not be home until lunchtime.

I took Sister to school, then had a nice hour or so having coffee with a friend, went to the grocery store, picked up Sister (yes, school is that short!), and came home to find

The Door Unlocked

And two pairs of familiar shoes in the entrance way. Geriatric shoes, the kind with fake laces and a zip up the side.

Me Too and I tiptoe into the house, hearts racing, unsure of what we will find, but pretty sure it will piss me off.

They’d gone through the whole house. There were zoukin, nasty rags, on the bathroom floor, nasty rag ring around the bathroom sink. For some reason I cannot begin to fathom, they’d opened up the kitchen drain and taken the big plug thing out so there was a huge, gaping pipe of crud exposed for the world to see.

Then there was the bedroom, where The Closet is located. Good god, they’d taken everything out of it. Futons and blankets and drawers and boxes, everything. Jiji was inside with a screwdriver, yelling at Baba, who was holding a floodlight.

It would have been funny if it wasn’t my house. And if they hadn’t emerged shortly afterwards saying they were hungry.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I fed them. Egg sandwiches, salad we were supposed to have for supper, cookies I’d made for the children’s snack, and seedless white grapes that are hard to come by here.

At the end of it, I had a closet door that opens and closes, so I guess that’s good. I also had a good chance to clean out the closet.

Jiji started to vacuum the window screens (no, I’m not joking,) then announces our vacuum filter is crap. He took the vacuum cleaner apart and said he would bring it back later.

No doubt at 6am tomorrow.

And so the cycle continues….

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kym (@kymmytha)
    Jul 11, 2012 @ 15:47:55

    Hmmmm, helpful in an annoying fashion. It messes with my head when my in-laws are like that.

    Reply

  2. Gina Sawamura
    Jul 12, 2012 @ 08:27:56

    Your in-laws sound very helpful, but yes uber irratating and rude at the same time. Japanese people can have a problem with boundaries I’ve noticed. Change the locks?

    Reply

    • hamakkomommy
      Jul 12, 2012 @ 08:42:16

      It’s not just the in-laws that don’t understand about boundaries. We changed the locks a couple of years ago, so now we have a lock on the doorknob and a dead bolt. I *thought* the outlaws had been given the key for only one of the locks, but apparently they were given both. Another strike against HRH. Can’t say I’m surprised, though, as the man thinks that when he’s taking poop it’s a great time to call me in for a chat. Ewwwwww

      Reply

    • hamakkomommy
      Jul 12, 2012 @ 08:47:08

      But it IS nice to have a closet that opens and closes properly. Just wish they would let me know ahead of time if they were gonna do it so I could flee the country. I think the lowest point was when after staying for lunch, they asked for coffee, then complained that the coffee was $BGv$$(B.

      Reply

  3. Beth
    Jul 12, 2012 @ 12:26:04

    Baba did call to tell you that JiJi wanted to come over. No thank you is not heard. The call is the announcement. The intentions are good, the implementation is questionable. My in-laws are Korean and very sweet. However, their boundaries are different from my boundaries. They tell me about my pimples and other topics I’d rather not talk about.

    Reply

  4. gaijinwife
    Jul 12, 2012 @ 19:27:33

    Ah well, alls well that ends well :) A closing wardrobe and no food in the house and the possibility the vacuum will be returned at the crack of bloody dawn tomorrow. I think you need to change the locks again and not tell hub either :) On the upside, am glad you got a nice coffee time in.

    Reply

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