Husbands should be seen and not heard

HRH has been gone for most of the past month.

It’s been peaceful.

But now he’s back with a vengeance and has already really managed to piss me off.

It’s not just the fact that he came home with two weeks worth of laundry and insisted his was more important and be done before everyone else’s, or the fact that he got up at four a.m., put said laundry into the washing machine, but didn’t turn it on because that is my job. It also isn’t the way he bought inappropriate gifts for the kids, and then scolded them harshly when they got broken. I was sorry for the kids, but not really angry. I knew it would happen as soon as I saw the long-necked glass things he gave them.


The pissing off was twofold. He woke me at 6:29 this morning and accused me of oversleeping. Fuck off! Just because you have jet-lag doesn’t mean I need to be up at the break of dawn. It was raining, so I couldn’t do laundry, and I’d made breakfast ahead of time. If I want to sleep for an extra thirty minutes under those conditions, who is he to argue about it?

Shortly after I woke up at that unacceptable post-6am hour he lit into me about there being too much stuff around the stove, how it’s dangerous, do I want to burn the house down and kill the kids, blah blah, the usual.

Dude, there’s nothing around the stove. Unlike him, I use the stove and am aware of how far the flames will fly. I’m also aware of what we will be cooking and whether or not grease flying from the pan will be a problem. Oh Ye of little faith who hath never used a stove, get thyself to a far corner and FUCK OFF!


Well, now I feel better….

There is no problem here.


7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gaijinwife
    Nov 07, 2012 @ 07:53:50

    sometimes I don’t think ‘idjit’ really does the whole situation justice at all. I could think of a lot more colorful expressions to go with that. When is he away again …


  2. Kym
    Nov 07, 2012 @ 20:42:18

    Someone should come up with a catchy name for that syndrome – getting annoyed with mostly absent hubs who then come back and start giving the orders. I get that a lot too. And snap, mine was away for half of October. It was a pretty relaxing month.


    • hamakkomommy
      Nov 07, 2012 @ 21:09:47

      Good to hear mine isn’t the only one! Wonder if it’s an international phenomenon? I do wish he would come home for once and not make everyone cry within twenty-four hours.


  3. ds
    Nov 07, 2012 @ 21:39:11

    I am always amazed when I hear stories like yours. Your husband is at least a decade younger than me, but behaves like a grandfather. It sounds like he is expecting you to be his mommy too. He wants you to act like a typical Tomoko Shufu, not an actual wife/partner. Well, that’s not what he married, so if that’s what he wants he can go elsewhere and find it.

    In all seriousness, why do you (not just you HM, but all wives in similar situations) put up with BS like this? When you marriage works better when your hub is absent, that should tell you something. Seems to me you only have 2 choices- acquiese or fight back. Naturally, I think the latter is preferable.


    • Kym
      Nov 08, 2012 @ 21:22:09

      With all due respect, every woman in this situation *does* fight back, and a lot also come to the internet to blow off steam about it. Where did you get the impression that it’s all acquiescence ? Maybe we’re reading between the lines differently.


      • DS
        Nov 09, 2012 @ 20:59:46

        That was just my impression, Kym. I didn’t read anything other than the idiot spouse behaving badly. Nothing about any justifiable reactions, protests, or the like. Seems from my point of view that the husbands are allowed to get away with their immaturity without paying much, if any, of a price. In that situation, of course they aren’t going to change. Why should they? Noone is calling them on their behavior.

        There ARE techniques in spouse or behavior modification that may help, if done consistently and with love.

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