Keeper of Treasure

One of the first things they should tell foreigners arriving to Japan is that failure to show up does NOT get you out of shit. If you can’t perform some role you are expected to fulfil as a member of a community, then you better show up and plead your case, along with everyone else, forming a crescendo of hardship and bullshit excuses, and probably getting stuck doing whatever it was anyway. Another lesson in Japanese culture: misery must be spread as equally as possible without much notice as to who is more capable of handling it.

I brought it on myself, I guess you could say, by forgetting this Golden Rule. I didn’t show up to a meeting, and now I’m stuck doing shit. Well, actually I didn’t forget the rule so much as I forgot the meeting. Me Too is still not 100%, and the meeting was at 7 on a Sunday night.

For what it’s worth, I also totally forgot to show up for crossing guard duty last Tuesday. Strangely enough, the sky didn’t fall and no kids got run over, as far as I know.

Perhaps one of the SIX senior volunteers at the one intersection they are in charge of moved a hundred meters down the road to one of the two the PTA is supposed to staff.

Or perhaps not. A mystery for the ages.

Anyway, I forgot to go to a neighborhood meeting and now I have been appointed treasurer of the community children’s group. I assume this is a job that will require no advanced reading or writing skills. Otherwise the kids are SOL.

So next time you’re thinking about the Three Kings of the Orient bearing treasure, I guess you can add me in.

Just gotta buy a crown. And a sex change. And travel back in time.

Um, just forget I said anything…

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