Anticlimaxes, Twists, and Turns

Those of you who have been through something like this probably already know what happened this afternoon. Me First didn’t give the notebook to the teacher. He said he was worried that the other boys would get in trouble.


That’s turning the other cheek and praying for your enemy all in one fell swoop, isn’t it? And this child has hardly ever set foot in a church. How did I do such a good job there? That’s children for you, isn’t it? We spend a good portion of our adult lives re-learning what comes to them naturally.


I had a talk with him, kind of similar to the cheating talk, actually, that when we let children get away with bullying behavior, they never learn that it is wrong. That leads to adult bullies, which leads to a)jail or b)a life without friends or love (I left out the other obvious result, c)a life of wealth and success unachievable by normal means.) We talked a little bit about why people become bullies, that they were bullied themselves or that they never learned aggressive behavior was wrong when they were small. Me Too very accurately pointed out a boy in her class who is on the verge of becoming one. Ouch. (She is right on, too.)

So, I think we had talked him into understanding why he had to tell the teacher.

He had a friend over this afternoon, and they spent a (weirdly) quiet afternoon playing with legos. Really, this kid needs to come over every day! I got so much work done while he was here. As soon as he left, Me Too awoke from her guest-induced lethargy and immediately destroyed the block creation they had been working on. Grrr. Luckily, I had dinner ready to distract them.

Then the phone rang.

I knew who it was before he announced himself. Not too many retirement age men call me. (Jiji prefers to have his wife call and yell at the phone over her shoulder.)

Apparently, someone else has notified the school on Me First’s behalf.

(I don’t know if it was Sparkly Mom or not.)

But, man, that has got things moving. Tomorrow, Me First’s teacher along with a couple of others are going to sit down with him and try to get to the bottom of exactly what is happening. The teacher came to me with the name of another child other than the usual suspects, so I suppose it will all come out. They want me to talk to him tonight and tell him that this will happen and that it’s okay to tell the truth.

It’s kind of easier for me this way, as now the school is in a 申し訳ない (apologetic) position to start with. I guess I need to keep on them to make sure the problem gets addressed properly.

Funny how that turned out.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kym
    Feb 25, 2013 @ 19:57:10

    If it was Sparkly Mum, I’m liking the sound of her more and more. Hope things go well tomorrow, and every day after that. Fingers crossed.


  2. illahee
    Feb 25, 2013 @ 20:17:29

    ah man. (for MF not turning in the letter/notebook, and for (me) waiting until tomorrow.) i just read an article about how the kids most traumatized and adversely affected by bullying weren’t the bullied but the bullies. mainly, the bullies that were bullied and then in turn bullied others. so sad. :( i wish i knew the answer, but i am rather sensitive about this as i was badly bullied and humiliated in the sixth grade and it took me a long long time to recover. i am very interested to find out what happens tomorrow. will you be going to the school, too?


  3. gaijinwife
    Feb 25, 2013 @ 20:45:04

    And I’m presuming they wont have Me First trying to tell his side of the story in front of the bullies he doesn’t want to get in trouble. Bless him for not wanting them to get in trouble but part of me, and you, wants him to whack the thugs round the side of the head. Glad the school was informed but hoping that the parent relayed it to their own child in appropriate way. Chinese whispers and all that. Kids are cruel. Good luck for tomorrow – He might feel more comfortable with you there if he is being lined up in front of his own teacher and then a couple of other I presume adults/teachers that he doesn’t really know.


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