Dear Dad,

One of the things that sucks about you being dead is that it makes it harder to talk to you. Although sometimes the listening part is easier- ha!

I think you may be the only person who has ever recognized the antisocial part of me and not thought of it as a fault. Well, maybe Aunt M sees that, too. Not antisocial like in a criminal, personality disorder sort of way, though I suppose that may be open to assessment, but antisocial as in I would rather not be in big groups of people or kids and, if at all possible, I would prefer if no one ever, ever put me anywhere near the center of attention. Please and thank you.

Remember when we were “planning” my wedding, and you told me not to have one since I obviously didn’t want one? You were right, of course. I didn’t enjoy it. It was a waste of time and money and stress and worry. But Me Too likes to look at the pictures. (Or the proofs, since I never bothered to order any pictures.)

Maybe you know, or maybe by now you’ve found better things to do than check up on us down here, that I’ve had a lot of people recently telling me I should or shouldn’t do or not do something because you aren’t here.

But I’m not you, Dad. I can’t fill your shoes (nor would I want to, I can still smell your black cowboy boots.) If you were here, I would ask your advice and then take it. Because you knew that unpleasant part of me, and you didn’t try to change it. Because you wouldn’t expect me to do something beyond my means. Because you understood what it is like to be a sibling and feel that chord of responsibility, but also to be a parent and lug around that chain.

Is it hard being dead and watching us screw up? Do you yell at us the way men yell at their TV screens? Sometimes I try to listen, but then I’m afraid of what I might here.

Anyway. I guess that’s about all. I took the kids to see a movie today, and it didn’t suck. Surprise, surprise!

Guess I’ll see ya when I see ya. Tell your mom and dad I said “hello.” Please tell your dad I said thanks for the pin. I found it just when I needed it, and the buttons, too.

And, oh yeah, give Jesus a high five for me. But don’t do that down low thing where you pull your hand away. That wouldn’t be cool.



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Coco
    Aug 09, 2013 @ 09:20:27

    I think you know already what advice he’d give you. So just take it like you always did! No regrets.


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